this fucking show
hands down my fave bit of rotk is when the ring’s been destroyed and mordor is like collapsing in on itself and sauron is freaking the fuck out
but all he can do is swivel his giant eye around
he’s like guys
what’s happening guys
I THINK MY TOWER IS COLLAPSING
GUYS IM SERIOUS
LITTLE HELP WOULD BE APPRECIATED
#911 what is your emergency #YES THIS IS THE DARK LORD SAURON #MY FORTRESS AT BARA-DUR IS COLLAPSING????? PLEASE SEND HELP
A perfect representation of how I feel about all of these things.
(Source: bubonickitten, via watermelonwings)
I like it when cats settle down and it looks like they don’t have any limbs
…and if you ever wondered what they look like from underneath when doing that:
I don’t understand why I’m laughing so hard
(Source: kimsoldblogone, via zayni)
Go back to the source.
(Source: martinfreeman, via bonhwa)
One has to begin by making the – I hope – patently obvious statement that there is nothing wrong with being single. Nonetheless, there are times when it can be tough. A person might have been happily single for years, and then one day, for whatever reason, they wake up and the misery goggles are on. Where once staying in and cooking a lovely meal for yourself was a delicious, peaceful treat, now you can only see how all recipes in cookbooks are measured out for two or four people, and you end up having a half-hour tearful argument with yourself in the kitchen about whether that means you should just use half an onion, because it is just you who will be eating the meal and not the happy, normal couple with the amazing sex life that the cookbook is expecting. Just you, you, all alone you.
Be Awesome: Modern Life for Modern Ladies
by Hadley Freeman
Now, a simple fact that is often overlooked is that it is not just women who occasionally feel lonely but, shockingly, men, too. And so, for purposes of gender equality, I shall give our hypothetical lonely friend the name of Charlie.
So Charlie calls you, and the following conversation transpires:
Charlie: “So, um, I guess I’ve been feeling a little down recently because I feel like I’m the only one of my friends who’s not in a relationship.”
You: “Oh honey, don’t worry. Look, [name of your partner] and I will come and meet you for a drink right now, OK?”
You’ve failed before you’ve even begun. If there’s one thing worse than feeling single and lonely, it’s feeling single, lonely and outnumbered. I don’t care how much Charlie likes (or claims to like) your partner. When a friend is feeling lonely, they need one-on-one attention. They do not need you and your perfect relationship sitting opposite them, emanating couple smuggery as you occasionally give each other little knee rubs that are blatantly code for “Don’t worry, darling. I’ll never let you be in the miserable state Charlie’s in now. We’re safe. Shall we go home now and have sex?”
Why on earth would you bring your partner with you anyway? When a friend asks to see you, lonely or not, they mean you in the singular, unless otherwise specified. You may not live in France, but unless a friend specifically says, “You and [name of partner]”, they mean “tu”, not “vous”.
Second sample conversation:
Charlie: “I’m so down. I don’t want to die alone.”
You: “You won’t die alone, I promise. You’re too amazing for that.”
WRONG! You are not psychic, and hoping that Charlie doesn’t die alone is not the same as knowing it will not happen. Also, this suggests that being in a relationship is like winning a beauty pageant and that Charlie’s current single status is somehow a reflection on Charlie when it is, of course, actually a reflection on everyone else for not recognising Charlie’s fabulousness.
Third sample conversation:
Charlie: “I’m so fed up with being single. I dread the weekends.”
You: “But so do I, Charlie! At least you don’t have to spend your weekends with [insert the name of your partner here]’s parents, like I do!”
This is pretty much akin to consoling a friend who just found out that they are infertile by whining about how much your twins cry when they haven’t had their nap. Competitive misery is never an attractive quality. Maybe you’re the kind of person who likes to feel that you’re always suffering the most; if so, stop it, because it’s annoying. More likely you think you’re making someone feel better by telling them that their misery has not just company, but a whole party. This tactic does not make anyone feel better. It makes them irritated.
Fourth sample conversation:
Charlie: “I’m just so tired of being the only single person among my group of friends. Everyone’s getting married and having babies, and I’m always the fifth person on a table of five.”
You: “Is there no one in your office? Have you considered internet dating?”
What is wrong with you? If you think Charlie is so stupid, why are you friends in the first place? I am pretty sure Charlie has had a good look around the office already, and as for internet dating, asking a single person if they have considered it is like asking someone where was the last place they saw their car keys. Maybe some people have not heard of internet dating – rare tribespeople in South America, time travellers from the past – but it is extremely likely that your single friend has, and for various reasons, rejected the possibility. These reasons might include that, for every one story they hear about a friend of a friend of a friend meeting their future spouse on the internet, they’ve heard about 276 stories about someone’s internet date announcing by way of introduction that they have chlamydia.
It is a tragic comment on the state of human development that so many people still don’t understand that when someone comes to whinge to you, they don’t actually want advice about how they could do things better – they just want to whinge. The one thing that will make them feel better is you listening and making sympathetic noises. That’s it.
The exception to this rule in the case of the depressed single friend is if you have something that you can do to fix the situation – such as, say, a lovely single friend with whom you will fix up Charlie. Conversely, if you don’t have anyone with whom to fix up Charlie, unless you think lemon juice is a great remedy for a paper cut, do not say, “Oh, I wish I could help, but I literally do not know any single people: everyone I know is an old married person like me these days”, etc, etc. It’s bad enough feeling single and lonely without feeling like the last single and lonely person on planet earth.
Look, it’s actually not very hard to say the right thing to your depressed single friend: you just have to put a little thought into it and not spew out all the above cliches you’ve heard from movies and your mother. Jettison any idea that being single is a reflection on the single person. Instead, think carefully about why Charlie is single and why you are friends with Charlie, and whether the two issues are related. Chances are, Charlie is a pretty special person, and therein lies your answer to both questions: “Charlie, I’m so sad to see you so sad. I hadn’t realised how lonely you were feeling because you have so many friends who love you. Unfortunately for you, you’re great. Awesome, even. Therefore it’s harder for you to find someone to be with. I hope you know that you really can call me any time, and I always love hanging out with you. Now, what time is it? 11am? Perfect – cocktail time.”
I’m so tired. My mind is tired. My heart is tired. I’m pretty certain my soul is tired.
How long more of this life do I have to endure? This constant disappointment, fear and anxiety.
Soon enough I will lose yet another confidant. And I’m back to just me. Me and my mind and the ever constant barrage of self hatred.
Nobody to stop me. To tell me otherwise.
A lonely mind is a dangerous one.
Things get dark. Thoughts twist and turn towards the worse. A broken record of every failure that I have suffered.
What ifs and what ifs and what ifs.
Over and over and over again.